This will be the last blog that I post during my time in Africa.  It's hard to believe that our time here is up.  I'm both sad to leave and eager to get home: it's a weird mix of emotions.  Processing, as you have seen in a few of my blogs from this week, is going to be a long, difficult process.  All I can say is that God is faithful, and I am grateful for His provision.  I know He will continue teaching me about this time and the things I've seen here for a very long time.

One prayer request as we're finishing our time with packing and a party tomorrow before we head out for Jinga on Sunday and the airport on Monday: 9 of the 11 of us currently have malaria.  That's right, I decided to complete the gauntlet of tropical African diseases with malaria in my last three days here.  I don't feel too bad, but there are several of my teammates who are not feeling well.  I am just praying that everyone is feeling better before we get on a plane for 48 straight hours of travel.

I will continue to post a few blogs about the trip and my thoughts in retrospect once I return, so if you would like to still receive those, please keep your eyes open.  I will also be creating slide-shows for each of the four places I've lived (Mexico, Busia, Mbita, and Tororo) that I will post as blogs once I get home, complete them, and have good internet access.

I would also like to note that I don't feel that my blogs, upon review, give a full or accurate picture of all of my time here in Africa.  Though I would apologize for that, I'm not sure that a blog would every be able to accomplish such a purpose fully.  I am glad however, that you have been able to see some sort of picture from my perspective of this time.  For those of you who I will see when I get home, I look forward to filling in the gaps when I return.  I will also be having a celebration time sometime within the first month of my return.  I'll have slide-shows, African food, copies of all of my blogs, and I will share about my time.  I'll post the details here when I know more.  I hope all of you can come.

I would like to end by sharing the lyrics to two songs.  Cheesy though it may be, they both come from the "Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian" soundtrack.  They have been powerful the past few days in helping me think about this time and almost prophetic, or at least very applicable to the circumstances of returning home from a trip like this.

"The Call" by Regina Spektor:

It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word

And then that word grew louder and louder
'Til it was a battle cry

I'll come back
When you call me
No need to say goodbye

Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never
Been this way before

All you can do is try to know
Who your friends are
As you head off to the war

Pick a star on the dark horizon
And follow the light

You'll come back
When it's over
No need to say good bye

You'll come back
When it's over
No need to say good bye

Now we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it too 
Doesn't mean that you have to forget

Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
'Til they're before your eyes

You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say good bye

You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say good bye

"This is Home" by Switchfoot:

I've got my memories
Always; Inside of me
But I can't go back
Back to how it was
I believe you now
I've come too far
No I can't go back
Back to how it was
Created for a place
I've never known

This is home
Now I'm finally
Where I belong
Where I belong
Yeah, this is home
I've been searching
For a place of my own
Now I've found it
Maybe this is home
Yeah, this is home

Belief over misery
I've seen the enemy
And I won't go back

Back to how it was
And I got my heart
Set on
What happens next
I got my eyes wide
It's not over yet
We are miracles
And we're not alone

This is home
Now I'm finally
Where I belong
Where I belong
Yeah, this is home
I've been searching
For a place of my own
Now I've found it
Maybe this is home
Yeah, this is home

And now after all
My searching
After all my questions
I'm gonna call it home
I got a brand new mindset
I can finally see
The sunset
I'm gonna call it home

This is home
Now I'm finally
Where I belong
Where I belong
Yeah, this is home
I've been searching
For a place of my own
Now I've found it
Maybe this is home
Yeah, this is home

Now I know
Yeah, this is home

I've come too far
And I won't go back
Yeah, this is home 

So, I realize that my last blog might have come across as rather dismal.  I certainly stand by all of the things I said in it and could have been much more harsh in my exploration of those topics (though to do so would have required me to explain details of our trip that I do not necessarily think the most appropriate to include in such a public forum).  And yet, I would portray an incomplete picture of my thoughts on this trip to not balance out my last blog.  While the disappointment displayed in "Disquietude" certainly represents some of the strongest emotional reactions I have had while reflecting on the trip, those things certainly have not been to say that the trip has been devoid of fun, joy, and wonderful moments.  I wrote this blog to balance the portrait of my reflections and to let you know that my retrospective thoughts of Africa are not without hope.

As I have been very disappointed in many of the people we've worked with, I have also met some incredibly devoted people, full of the love of Christ in all of the places that we have been.  In Busia, I think back to all of the people involved in New Hope: all of their staff, the older kids who looked after the younger, and the precious smiles of them all.  They are all so loving, joyful, and spirit-filled.  Even typing this brief, inadequate description of them, I can't keep from smiling at the joy they all have brought me.  In Kenya, Paul, Erin, Jared, and they boys were such wonderful hosts.  JP and Jesse, Steve and Judy: American missionaries devoted to displaying the love of Christ in Mbita.  All of these wonderful people truly "get it", and having discussions with them about the things going on and missiology/missions theory (though we never would have called it that) encouraged me greatly and helped me maintain some semblance of sanity in Kenya.  Plus, Jared is visiting us here in Uganda right now, so it's a blessing to spend a few more days with him.  And here in Tororo, everyone is so loving.  Pastor Wilber, Robert, Agnes, Frank, Francis, Jane, and the rest of the staff love us and care for us so well.  All of these places and people do have their problems, but they are truly seeking to discover and bring the kingdom, which is refreshing.

Ministry, too, has not been as unfruitful as I might sometimes imagine.  True, it has not looked like what I expected or what I might have chosen it to look like, yet I know God has used my attempts to be obedient.  First, let me share one of the most encouraging things I've seen.  I sat down last week to make a "People to Remember" list for all of the places we've been- Mexico, Busia, Mbita, and Tororo.  Though the work was a bit tedious, it was incredibly joyful to reflect on fun memories with all of these people.  And, one of the most encouraging moments I've had was looking at the list, realizing how many friends I've made, and how many people I've had the opportunity to share the love of Christ with.  In the same manner, yesterday, I know that a group of Africans truly understood what I taught.  I know that people don't usually understand me because after we speak, there is inevitably an African who stands up to summarize what we have said.  Usually, when they summarize, it has absolutely nothing to do with what we said at best, and at worst, it is a biblically inaccurate twist on what we have said (which I suppose is proof that we are speaking truth and that Satan is trying to confuse what we have said within our listeners' minds).  But yesterday, I taught on how we have been given the ministry of reconciliation (I taught three times yesterday, and I shared the same message with all three audiences- sometimes that's what you have to do so that you're not preparing for three hours each night).  Side note: The second time I taught yesterday, it was on the radio!  That's right, I got to preach on the radio in Africa.  It was so much fun.  Plus, I always thought I had a radio face! ;)  The last time I taught, it was for cell groups- the small groups at True Vine.  All I can say is that the Spirit was there, and It was moving powerfully. After I was done teaching, the pastor who was with us talked about how he felt the power of the Spirit working in my words and then, he proceeded to make sure that everyone had understand what I had taught- how we've been given the ministry of reconciliation to bring all things back to Christ.  He then proceeded to give better and more culturally appropriate examples of the message's application than I, with my limited cultural perspectives, could give.  It was incredibly encouraging- someone finally got it!  All of our time at Smile Africa has also been wonderful.  I love spending time with the kids.  Some days, we just hang out, sit and play.  Sometimes, I flip kids in the air and over my shoulders for a few hours.  Other times, I sit and let the kids teach me Swahili.  Sometimes, as on last Friday, I play football (soccer) with some of the boys, which is honestly my favorite activity in Africa: playing football with they kids- it's a shame that it hasn't happened more often.  Spending time with these street kids, the "least of these", is my favorite activity we've done in Africa, and I wish I could spend all day, every day there with them.  Though much of the "ministry" has felt more like pulling teeth, it is these experiences that give me hope and the strength to keep going.

One last thought: I love my team.  As the days draw to an end, I learn to treasure every minute I spend with them more and more.  We've had more fun and laughs than I could relate.  Our relationships have been built in the toughest of living conditions and refined by fire.  Though I am more excited than I could relate in words to return home and see everyone there, I will be sad not to spend every day with these people.  My favorite memories of Africa are with them, and I will be very sad to say goodbye to them.

Amongst all the trials, amongst the hardships that plagued and characterized the time I've spent in Africa, there have been shining stars amongst the darkness.  Beautiful people, being the light of Christ in the world and encouraging situations that would dare not leave me without hope for this continent.

This morning, I preached at True Vine for the main service about some of the most blatantly unbiblical things I've seen in my time here. I shared the message that God revealed to me about this church concerning prayer (Matthew 6- how not to pray), the rejection of the prosperity gospel, and fighting the Spirit of Performance. During my preparation time, I was reflecting about how this message was different from previous messages I've preached, how often I've preached, and what my ministry has entailed. In Busia, we battled the Spirit of Religion; in Mbita, that of Jealousy and Greed; and here in Tororo, the Spirit of Performance. As I thought back, I realize how much I've preached and how much of our ministry has involved the people within the church, and it quite disappointed me. Don't get me wrong, I love encouraging other believers, but much of that time has felt like a battle, and as I alluded to earlier, it has been a battle against these spirits that unfortunately have quite a grip even upon the Christians placed in the highest places of authority. Battling these spirits and speaking truth into these situations was not exactly how I pictured my trip. I thought I would be ministering alongside the local believers, not only to them. I thought I would be doing a lot more practical ministry and less teaching and preaching, and it's discouraging when almost every time you stand up to speak and share Biblical truth, you see evidence within a day or two that no one heard what you had to say, or if they did, they did not listen and seek to apply it to their lives. But apparently, preaching is all "ministry" means to many Christians in East Africa. The whole process, to be honest, has made me rather disillusioned with the African Church (not that I'm that much more into the American Church), but what are we supposed to do when the people we're to be working with are the ones who give us the hardest time and the ones who most warmly welcome us are the ordinary believers and even those outside of the church? (And why is this the case, both here in Africa and in America? That brings up another whole line of chastisement for myself and the rest of the Church today, which I will not go into at the moment.) The whole time has been exhausting, and it has certainly taken its toll on me. You become quite disillusioned when time after time you move to a new ministry sight, think that everything will improve when you join these new people only to come to find out that they have their own problems, just as egregious as the place before. I don't know why that surprised me- we all have our struggles- but it did. By the grace of God, He has given me the strength to continue running in times like the service this morning, even when all I want to do is go to sleep. I am very glad that this is not a permanent arrangement. I know I ought to have a more kingdom-minded perspective on my time that would be more positive and be more cognizant of the honor that God chose me to go through these things because He knew I could hand them and He had big things to teach me this year. But, sometimes that perspective gets lost in the mess my time in Africa has been. That's not to say I would change anything about it, because I do believe that God has had purpose in all things for my good, but it has not been easy.

And as I was thinking about all of these things, I realized how I continue to always assume that I am in the right in every situation that we have encountered. Sure, the confirmation coming from the Spirit and from the discernment of my team has encouraged me unto that end, but I know that I have not always been in the right. I believe that most of the time I have stood for truth by the guidance of the Holy Spirit, but I know I have not been perfect unto that end for the entire five months. It's hard to create the disconnect between passionately speaking out again the Pharisee-esque behavior displayed in so many of the people with whom we've come into contact and our personal actions, to maintain enough humility to recognize my faults in the midst of fighting for truth and the purity of the gospel. God has definitely given me the identity of being a warrior for speaking His truth and correcting the gross perversions of the gospel that I come into contact with (even if all I can do is speak whether or not anyone is actually listening), and that has been an awesome calling upon my life (even the African names I have been given, "Mwanzi", "Mushindi", and "Galoch" all mean "Conqueror" or "Victor" in Lugandan, Swahili, and Luo, respectively). But, I know I have not always done everything right. Though I have pursued to know the gospel in its purity- only what God speaks to us through His word, devoid of cultural slants, personal biases, or any other superfluous, distracting doctrine- am I being hypocritical for standing up and preaching against the cultural perspectives that blind others from another culture to the Biblically-based truth when I am still so bound by my own cultural background and perspectives? I suppose that's one of the most challenging things about cross-cultural ministry and one of the greatest obstacles we all must individually seek to conquer. But, I didn't write this blog to complain about what a difficult time we had or to rag on the people we were with this past five months.

As I said before, I truly desired to spend more time with people outside of the church. One of the biggest themes that I, and our team as a whole, have adopted is the idea of relational ministry. Really, this just means ministering to them the way that Jesus ministered: by forming relationships (though not with the ulterior motives of creating a "convert"), loving people with the love of Christ, modeling our lives in faithful obedience to God out of love, and challenging them to seek the Lord for themselves. We did have a few opportunities where we were able to minister relationally, and those were blessings to me. It's amazing to see the fruit of such ministry and experience the joy that comes even just from forming those relationships upon whose basis you will be challenging individuals at a later date. It's hard to do here in East Africa, though, because other Mzungus have taught the Africans very western ideas of ministry. Crusades, home visits, and evangecubes made unfortunate frequent visits. Now, these things in and of themselves are not bad, but the way they are administered can be horrific. I was appalled the first time I heard someone say that we could only spend five minutes at each house that we visited and that if the people were not willing to "accept salvation", whatever that means, within those five minutes, we were to move on. I was even more appalled the first time we went to a crusade (which, by the way, is a TERRIBLE name for a ministry activity...do we study history?) and heard the preacher screaming (and I mean screaming) from a make-shift platform into a microphone in the middle of the market about the horrors of hell that faced everyone who was listening to him unless they repented now and received salvation (and then proceed to speak the next day about what a successful day it had been during house visits because of the number of people who accepted salvation). I'm not one to sugarcoat anything, especially the reality of hell, but have we not yet learned that that kind of hell-fire and brimstone message only creates scared individuals trying to please God with their efforts rather than living in His grace and obeying Him because they love Him? That approach certainly does not display the love which Christ calls us to (remember that it's the second greatest commandment, right behind loving God?), and screaming it from a platform at the masses does not display "speaking the truth in love" as we're instructed to do in Ephesians 4:15. When did anyone, in Africa OR America, think it was OK to reduce individual souls, children of the King, created in His image and loved by Jesus just as much as any one of us into a number on a piece of paper by which to measure the "success" of a day? That's NOT OK!! When did we replace the word "disciples" in Matthew 28:19 with the word "converts" or "Christians" i.e., "Go and make converts of all nations..."? What is needed in Africa (and America for that matter) is not more evangelism done in some loveless manner directed at creating a nice number to put on paper at the end of the day to make ourselves feel good about what we've done, but people dedicated to loving the children of God not in fellowship with Him at this moment (whether they go to church or call themselves "Christians" or not) and CREATE DISCIPLES who are committed to obeying and serving Christ because of their great love for Him. Are you beginning to see that the Church in Africa and America really aren't that different? The same problems plague both parts of the body, and both groups need a call to return to the foundations of our faith- not to be caught up in the formulas of religion, our own pride, our desire for wealth and financial prosperity, but the radical love given to us by God that should cause us to love and obey Him in the most radical ways imaginable.

But, as I have reflected, I know that this trip was more about my relationship with God and what He had to teach me than about the ministry we have done, and I certainly have learned a great deal- more than I could probably relate in ten thousand blogs. I have realized recently how I have lost certain aspects of walking in the Spirit and other things I've learned on this trip while going through the trials of our time in Africa. I just finished re-reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan, and it served as a wonderful reminder of why I'm here, what I'm doing, and the things I should be pursuing. So, I am dedicating this last week of my time in Africa to personally seeking to return to those things that have fallen by the wayside and begin once more to walk in the Spirit as God solidifies all that He's taught me and done in my life through this time. I would appreciate your prayers as I continue to sort through and process the entirety of this trip and seek to allow God to end this disquietude I feel in my heart. I know that this is a very long blog, and I appreciate all of you who read all of it! God bless!

After safari, we spent two days in Nairobi, which I thoroughly enjoyed. We just hung out, ate good food, and shopped for souvenirs at the City Market before taking an overnight bus to Mombasa, where we spent two more days. While there, we went to the beach and relaxed a good deal- what a blessing! After that time however, our real adventure began. We had planned to catch a night bus from Mombasa to Nairobi then catch a bus through Kisumu, where we would pick up our things from Paul, and on through the border at Busia to complete the short hour of travel remaining to True Vine from there. Well, all of that was foiled when our bus broke down on the way to Nairobi at 3:45 a.m. So, we spent the rest of the night (the next five hours) on the side of the road, waiting for another bus to come and pick us up. Of course, that made us late to Nairobi, so we missed our bus. We were able to get on another bus and leave early in the afternoon, and we settled in for the ride to Kisumu. When we arrived, it was raining, so we loaded our things onto the bus and said goodbye to Paul, Erin, and Jared (who had been traveling with us) and checked to make sure that the bus would drive us through the border and drop us off in Tororo as had been promised in Nairobi. Shockingly (yes, that is facetious), we were lied to, and the bus would only drop us off in Busia, leaving us without a way to get to Tororo at about midnight. After many phone calls and worrying for about an hour or so, Reese was finally able to get through to Pastor Wilber here at True Vine.   True to his character and excitement to be hosting us, Pastor Wilber grabbed two of his staff, his mini-van, and hired a matatu (a small, 14-passanger van used as a taxi) to come and pick us up at the border. The staff here at True Vine is so wonderful, and true to their nature, they had crossed the border and were waiting to greet us and help carry our things across the border when we got off of the bus. They stayed with us as we moved through the border and helped us load our things into the matatu before we hopped in and drove to True Vine. We arrived at about 1 a.m. at the guest house here on the base, 30 hours after beginning our travel in Mombasa at 7 p.m. Only 10 hours longer than expected, but that made the trip seem like an eternity. Travel in East Africa= always an adventure!

Our first day at True Vine, they gave us the day to rest after our travels, but every day after that, we have been on the move. True Vine is a very large organization, and they have many aspects to their ministry, so there is always something to be done. In the mornings, we split into groups to go and share in and teach morning devotion in the different departments (the main office, the education center with the teachers, the hospital, and the orphan center). During the day, we do a variety of things. Some days we help out in the clinic here at the base or go on medical outreaches to vaccinate infants. Other days, we go to place called Smile Africa, where street kids come to spend the day to keep them off of the streets and to receive meals. While we're there, we just hang out with the kids, help them take baths, and feed them. It's one of my favorite things that we do.  It's also helped me learn a good deal more Kiswahili. Two of the older boys (around 12 or 13), Juma Saidi and Syrus, who speak English pretty well, will sit down with me, a pen and paper to try to teach me more of the language. Plus, it's a good workout: the kids love for me to pick them up and flip them over my shoulder, which gets tiring after only about 20 kids, and they all get right back in line to be flipped again. We also do a good deal of teaching either at the mid-week fellowships, in Sunday small groups, preaching during the services, or talking on the Christian radio program broadcast from Rock Mambo, the local radio station. And finally, we do help out on the base a good bit. We help in the computer and orphan centers, helping type or teach computer skills, playing volleyball or basketball and fellowshipping with the staff here, and I've heard rumors of the opportunity to plant trees here on the base in the near future. So as you can see, we do a wide variety of ministry here at True Vine- pretty much whatever they ask, and I am enjoying the time very much. It's a blessing for me to finally be in a place which, from my perspective, truly seeks after giving their best according to the truth in the Bible and the guidance of the Holy Spirit, and allows me to pour out from myself. I had a day last week were we went to Smile Africa in the morning, and I played volleyball with some of the pastors and orphan center staff here. It was a wonderful day, and for one of the first times, I was able to have the thought, "THIS is why I came to Africa- to share the love of Christ by playing with kids and fellowshipping with brothers to encourage them in their work." It's a little frustrating that that's the first time I've really truly felt that way and that we leave in less than two weeks, but I suppose I should count it a blessing that God finally allowed me to feel and experience that at all. Don't get me wrong, I'm so glad that I came. I have learned more than I could ever fully relate, and I know that I've had an impact on many people's lives, but God's plans for this trip were not exactly what I would have chosen if I had made all of the plans. Yet I know His plans were best.

One last thought: As I said before (and as many of you are aware), I leave Africa in less than two weeks (and get home in less than three). It's been very interesting to move to a new place and start a new ministry for only three weeks. On a trip where we were supposed to be in one location for six months and have moved three times,  there have been many changes, and as I'm sure you are all aware, this has been a very eventful and trying time for myself and our whole team. As such, and being so close to the end of the trip, part of my brain has moved to "process, box, and store away" the truckloads of information I've gained and experiences I've had over the last seven plus months. It has made being here in Tororo and being focused on new ministry a little difficult. I feel rather "in limbo", if you will. I want to be wholly invested in the ministry here, and striving to do so is becoming easier with each passing minute, but there's still a part of my brain chugging through the files of the whole Novas trip that I just can't shut off at this point. I'm not so sure that's such a bad thing, though. I really can still be focused here during our ministry times, but I think it's also beneficial for me to begin thinking through everything that has happened- it's going to be a very long process. I'm really not sure why I'm sharing this with you, but it's been on my mind this past weekend, so there you go. A glimpse into my thoughts... scary, I know!