“In every department of
life [disappointment or anticlimax] marks the transition from
dreaming aspiration to laborious doing.” –C.S. Lewis
I could not have picked better words
myself to describe my first two weeks here in Uganda. It has been a
struggle to say the least, and our time has been wrought with
difficulties. The plumbing at our house is a mess- the water doesn’t
come out of most of the faucets, one of the faucets continually
leaks, the toilets inside don’t work so we have to use the “squatty
potties” outside, and some of the drains are clogged (and we’re
the first people to have lived in this house). Our electricity
doesn’t work very well. There have been several severe illnesses so
far, and I personally had an infection. There are literally only two
other white people here in Busia besides ourselves, which is not a
problem (obviously) but is still an adjustment that I have to make.
And, while the attention granted by the children is cute, “Mzungu,
how are you? Mzungu, how are you?” chanted as you walk from one
place to the next does get old pretty quickly because you really
begin to feel that you are on parade everywhere you go.
Communication with our hosts has been difficult because they are not
here in the country, and they seem to have different plans for us
than the local pastor we’re working with, even though he works for
them. The ministry we expected to do doesn’t match up exactly with
what we will actually be doing, and there are several people who have
been rather discouraged, including me. Above all, though all of these
physical things play a role, I have not felt at peace about being
here or our ministry- I was not settled in a single aspect of my
existence here. I quickly moved beyond these first few issues-
plumbing, electricity, and communication issues are easily solved or
moved beyond, but I could not shake the spiritual restlessness I
felt. After months of dreaming aspiration, the reality of laborious
doing has hit me and pretty hard in the face. This is the reality of
our existence here in Uganda- not the things we hoped, dreamed, or
envisioned, but the reality of a difficult, sacrificial life (which
we should be grateful for, but that’s another blog for another
day).
C.S. Lewis goes on to say, “If [we]
get through this initial dryness successfully, [we] become much less
dependent upon emotion and therefore much harder to tempt.” Though
I personally have struggled with the transition greatly and all that
I wanted to do my first week here was hop on a plane and come home, I
am beginning to leave my expectations behind and embrace the reality
of the life God has created for me for the next five months. And, He
is beginning to answer my prayers by granting me some excitement
about these five months. Quiet though it may be, I am beginning to
feel an excitement about our time here and develop an expectation of
seeing God do great things during our time here. During my quiet
time this morning, God really began to change my heart and give me
his vision for the next five months. Yesterday, we also had a group
get back from visiting the first “bush church” (I stayed at home
with a group of people who were sick). Hearing their stories simply
adds to my growing readiness to run headlong into the rest of my time
here. I am greatly looking forward to my experience here being less
and less defined by the emotions that I feel and more dependent upon
the knowledge that God is using me in mighty ways here, regardless of
my circumstances. So, I end somewhere that I began this whole
process. This is my life verse and recommitment to the devotion that
it calls for:
“I eagerly expect and hope that I
will in no way be ashamed but will have sufficient courage, so that
now as always, Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or
by death.” Philippians 1:20
